PRESERVE THE SEXY v.3: SCRUFF DADDY

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With Spring shortly around the corner, it's time to give up the caveman-chic approach to facial grooming that has been adopted by so many Hollywood leading men and Geico commercials. Spending lots of time and ungodly amounts of cash to assume an effortless swagger or appear as if you aren't consumed with appearance is the definition of anti-sexy and immediately screams POSER. We don't believe you!

If you are a victim of this crime or are thinking these criminal thoughts, don't worry. We have put together a couple of guidelines to keep your FACIAL HAIR LEGIT, and they're so easy that even a caveman can do it:

Beard and Mustache
Nude, Scruff, or Combo are 3 different approaches that we suggest to grooming the beard and 'stache.

Nude - A cleanly shaven face evokes refinement and is symbolic of being well-groomed. It's a sophisticated look that requires heavy maintenance and is the harshest on the skin. Here's a cliff notes on how to minimize the damage, while mastering the art (Note: If you have a wolf on your face, you need to shave down with clippers first):

1. A hot shower or hot towel will open pores and soften the hair
2. Wash face with skin appropriate facial cleanser to remove dirt
3. Apply quality pre-shave oil to help prevent cuts
4. Lather with shaving cream, and opt for low-lather varieties
5. With a sharp razor, shave in same direction of stubble starting at sideburns and smoothly stroke downward. Save neck for last.
6. Rinse with cold water and pat dry.
7. Apply skin appropriate after-shave lotion

Scruff - A little bit of scruff never hurt anyone, as long as it doesn't approach midnight. The 5 o'clock shadow gives a rugged, bad boy image that contrasts well with tailored suits. It only requires moderate maintenance, is fairly easy on the skin, and quick to execute. To pull it off, you need to simply let your hair grow even and mow it down with adjustable beard trimmers on level 1. If genetics doesn't promote even hair growth, then you should go Nude or Combo.

Combo - This approach provides more combinations than your favorite fast-food joint: The Hogan; Goatee; Handle Bars; The Chaplin; plus countless others. The Combo really allows you to express your personal style and is the cheapest accessory money can buy. To pull off the Combo, I recommend that you use a 'stache chart to determine the look and leave the styling to the professionals. A do-it-yourself project can quickly send you down the Nude route if it doesn't work out.

Eyebrows
Unless you were cursed with a Unibrow or look like a descendant of Yo Sammity Sam, eyebrows should require minimal maintenance:

1.Wash face with skin appropriate facial cleanser and warm water
2.Brush the brows up from the bottom with a small brush to groom and shape.
3.Tweeze the stragglers that lie outside of the eyebrow’s natural shape.
4.Trim unruly strands gently with scissors over a brow brush until even.
5.Apply aloe vera or vitamin E lotion to reduce skin irritations or ingrown hairs.

If you do have a set of monster eyebrows, then you need to man up and face the wax. Just don't go for the Jersey-boy wearbag (i.e. wearwolf + douche-bag) shaping.

Nose Hair
If your nose hair sticks out beyond your nostrils, then it's time for clipping my friend. I recommend using a high-efficient, electric trimmer with suction to remove the loose hair. Opt for one with stainless steel blades that allow easy cleaning. Note: Although nose hair isn't incredibly sexy, be sure to leave some for nostrils to block debris and dirt. Only go for the ones sticking out.

Ear Hair (Bonus)
I recommend laser treatment to permanently remove your "ear beard". It's non-invasive, relatively safe, and lasts much longer than other techniques. Before considering laser treatment, make sure you throughly research to find an accredited doctor who has a lot of experience and training. This is critical for increasing probability of treatment success.

PRESERVE THE SEXY v.2: FADE TO WHITE

Dirty Mouth? Well, it's going to take more than Orbit to clean it up. One of the simplest things you can do to look younger, healthier, more together...is BRIGHTEN YOUR GRILL (and I'm not talking about Paul Wall "Disco Balls")! With more options than George Clooney's black book, I know it can be overwhelming as to which treatment to spend your recession money on. Well, don't worry your pretty little head, we've done the legwork for you and there are pros a cons to all of them. We will classify the options into 2 groups: Professional Whitening and Quick Tricks. Without further adieu, here's the skinny:

PROFESSIONAL WHITENING (LEAVE TO THE TRAINED)

Laser - Done in 2 main Steps. In the first step, the dentist applies a gel to protect your gums from being cooked by the laser's heat. In the second step, the dentist applies a whitening gel (~37% peroxide) and passes the laser over your teeth to accelerate the absorption of the solution.

• Pros: One hour for a white smile, and because the dentist is in the room, she can make sure the whitening is even.
• Cons: Heat from the laser may make your teeth more sensitive to hot and cold - permanently. It's the most expensive process.
• Re-up Time: Once a year
• Cost: ~$1200 (It aint trickin' if you got it)

Halogen Lamp - The dentist applies a gel or rubber guard to protect your gums from the fluorescent light. He then paints a hydrogen-peroxide solution (~30%) onto your teeth and positions a halogen lamp over your mouth-kinda like the french fries at fast food joints-and leaves you in the room until the solution has worked its magic.

• Pros: Gentler than the laser and less likely to leave your teeth and gums like tomatoes.
• Cons: Sitting in a chair for 1.5 hrs with a blinding light in your face.
• Re-up Time: Once a year
• Cost: ~$600
  

Trays - The dentist creates a customized mold (i.e. mouthguard) for both the top and bottom teeth. This made-to-order piece better prevents the gel (~6% hydrogen peroxide with fluoride and potassium) from seeping out and coating your tongue. You essentially add the gel to the trays and wear them for about a half-hour a day for 2 wks.

Pros: Lower amount of hydrogen peroxide, so less likely to have sore gums and sensitive teeth. Can whiten at your leisure.

Cons: Longer time to reach maximum whitening because hydrogen peroxide doesn't get as deep into your teeth as it does when it's activated by light. Have to perform twice a year.

Re-up Time: Every 6 Months

Cost: ~$400

QUICK TRICKS (DO IT YOURSELF)

Strips - Coated with a hydrogen-peroxide solution on one side, these stick-on strips work similar to trays. You essentially peel, stick them on your teeth, and wait for about an hour to take them off. The kit comes with a set of individually packaged strips for the Upper and Low teeth to last approximately two weeks.

• Pros: Very inexpensive, quick, and the most gentle on your teeth and gums.
• Cons: Uneven whitening because they don't cover all of your teeth (you may have to settle for yellowish molars) and have to perform twice a year. Because of the low hydrogen-peroxide content, you also won't get your teeth as white as professional options.
• Re-up Time: Every 6 Months
• Cost: ~$30

Toothpaste - Whitening Toothpaste packed with small gains that scrubs stains and residue from the surface of your teeth.

• Pros: Very inexpensive. Great additive to other whitening treatments.
• Cons: Doesn't really whiten because it doesn't contain enough-or in some cases, any-hydrogen peroxide. Have to use daily.
• Re-up Time: Depends on how much you brush (about every two months)
• Cost: ~$5

Mouthwash - See Toothpaste. They do the same thing. According to dentists, your smile will look no different than if you swished with a no frills version.

PRESERVE THE SEXY v.1: 10 CRACK COMMANDMENTS

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Preserving The Sexy is an informative series on how to feel and most importantly look like a billion dollars. I will give you many tips, tricks, and secrets that can be used to maintain a sexier you. So, now that you've been formally introduced, let's move on to our first session: Cracked, Dry Feet.

Passing through the streets of major metros and attending various events around the globe, I noticed a troubling phenomenon that I call "Baker's Foot". This condition can best be described by the above illustration; Your heel cracks and flakes until it appears as if you're baking crusty loaves in your Jimmy Choos or, if you prefer, mixing concrete with your heels.

This unsightly situation is caused by a variety of different reasons: squeezing a size 9 foot into a size 8 shoe (your shoe and foot size should match); consistently walking barefoot on hard pavement or floors; wearing sandals or open-backed shoes (especially stilettos); scratchy socks or 'hose; friction from sneakers while exercising; and some medical conditions (e.g. diabetes, eczema).

For those who are in violation of "Baker's Foot" or looking to prevent it, don't worry, I have developed a luxury care plan to get your foot game on track:

The 10 Crack Commandments

1. Never begin the foot plan until you understand your situation. Dry feet can be a sign of health issues, and particularly people with diabetes, skin or circulation problems will want to discuss any foot care regimen with their doctor before beginning.

2. Soak feet and heels in an Epsom salt bath, soapy water, or lemon juice for about 10 min.

3. Exfoliate the dry skin and flakes with a pumice stone or foot scrub (2 to 3 times/wk or as needed). Trust me. It's a must.

4. Never try to reduce the hard/dry skin your self with a razor blade, kitchen knife or a pair of scissors. There is a risk of shaving too much skin off or breeding a nasty infection.

5. I know you've heard this before: Moisturize your situation. Apply an oil based moisturizing cream twice daily to the heels, cuticles and toes.

6. Lotion (most) and feet don't mix. You'll find yourself in dry territory, due to the alcohol base and other carriers used in the formula.

7. Going to sleep after applying the moisturizer? Forget it! Lock-in those oils and moisture by wearing softening gel socks overnight. Don't lose them to the air, sheets, or your significant other.

8. This rule is so underrated. Never force the fit. I know the shoes are hot, but if they don't have your size, then it's time for you to bounce.

9. Eat the Fab 4: Calcium, Iron, Zinc, and Omega-3 fats. Cracked heels can be caused by a deficiency of these .

10. This should've been #1 to me. Check The Art of Luxury guide frequently to stay informed about the latest products, techniques, and best spas to frequent for pedicures.

If you follow these rules, your feet will be Jimmy Choo or Gucci loafer ready all year round. And, I'm sure your partner will appreciate it in bed.